Finally, no matter if we’re a supporter of David A or David C, I think we can all agree on one thing: there is not a chance in hell that either David will return in four years and deliver a performance as bracingly weird as Fantasia’s “Bore Me (Yawn),” a hip-hop stomp that left Simon visibly bewildered. You would think that Simon, who has recently been complaining in the press that Idol has been too “safe,” would appreciate a jolt of unpredictability like this, but apparently not.

Heather Phares
Wednesday night’s show — a.k.a. Getting Syesha Out of the Way — could have been a boring afterthought. Actually, most of it was, including the saccharine visits the Final Three took to their hometowns, but another homecoming made at least one part of the show worth watching. With her ruby red ‘do, wild dance moves, and even wilder singing, Fantasia injected this season of American Idol with some literal, and much-needed, color. Yes, her performance of “Bore Me” was over the top, but after weeks of actual boredom, her willingness to go way, waaaay out there was more than a little refreshing — if only for the stunned reaction her performance drew from Simon (which just gets funnier the more you see it). Simon has complained that the show has been “too safe” this season; too bad it took 2004’s American Idol to shake things up.

Andrew Leahey
Leave it to Fantasia to inject a bit of unexpected energy into a predictable episode, even if I’d rather watch an entire recital by Sanjaya Malakar than sit through that performance again. Simon’s reaction was priceless, though, as were the absolutely terrified faces that populated the “mosh pit.” Those audience members usually climb all over each like puppies, screaming and clamoring and reaching out to touch the cuff of David Archuleta’s jeans, but Fantasia parted the sea like Moses in drag. She stepped down from the stage, the mosh pitters scattered, and *boom*, Fantasia is suddenly the latest thing in crowd control. Somebody hire her to run security for the Pope’s next visit.

Andrew Leahey
Last night was an improvement over recent episodes, even if the contestants have begun to show some serious wear-and-tear after weathering the AmIdol storm for three months. David Cook’s upper range was mostly absent by the time he performed “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” (a song that’s tailor-made for high notes, since it was originally penned for Celine Dion), and Archuleta was visibly winded during his Chris Brown song. The only consistent contestant was Syesha, but that hardly matters now, as I’m willing to bet my clunky ’96 Ford Taurus — a $400 value at least! — that she’ll be packing her bags in approximately 5 hours. While Syesha certainly gets the “Most Improved” award for her recent turnaround, it’s hard to champion a singer who refuses to inject her songs with any sort of personal identity. She fills her performances with character sketches; she peppers her interviews with imitations of crying babies; she assures Ryan Seacrest that she’s going to be herself, but she delivers the line with an exaggerated Southern accent that all but erases any genuine intention. It’s no coincidence that Syesha’s performances improved once the judges gave her the thumbs-up to embrace her Broadway side, and that’s likely where she’ll end up — either playing Mimi in “Rent,” joining Ruben Studdard and Frenchie Davis in “Ain’t Misbehavin’,” or trading hairstyling secrets with Clay Aiken on the set of “Spamalot.”

So in all likelihood (and really, who didn’t predict this weeks ago?), the competition is down to the two Davids. Archuleta bookended his evening with two solid ballads, but his wheezing performance of “With You” made for some seriously weak filling — like an inside-out musical Oreo — and once again, he proved that his only salvation rests in the sort of croon-worthy “Great American Songbook” projects that helped rejuvenate Rod Stewart’s career. That being said, the kid is a phenomenal singer when he’s in his element, as he proved during a pretty rendition of “And So It Goes.” As for David Cook, he looks and sounds like the sort of rockstar that American Idol so desperately needs right now, and his performance of “The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face” displayed more versatility than Archie’s. What’s more, the producers have learned how to properly mic his voice, as they now heap on the reverb and echo whenever he reaches for a high note. “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” wasn’t quite the sonic explosion it was probably meant to be, but it seemed to play out very well inside the theater, and the addition of a second guitarist (to double the power chords during the chorus) would’ve gone a long way in smoothing out any bumps. It’s a toss-up between him and Archuleta, but I’m rooting for David Cook.

Matt Collar
Nothing much surprised me last night. I can only assume Syesha won’t make the final two. In that sense, I think she did well with her three songs. And I didn’t have a problem with “Fever,” as she’s obviously a huge theater/jazz/cabaret lover and this really seemed to be where her heart is right now. As for the Davids, Archie was dead boring — although as an avowed soft-rock fanatic, I hand it to the producers for picking a Dan Folgeberg song. Sure, its gooey and sweet, but that doesn’t mean it’s a crummy song, despite what Simon thinks. Perhaps the only surprise for me was how pitchy Cook sounded. He seemed dead sure of himself on “Dare You To Move”, but the sound-bite length didn’t do him or that song any favors. Conversely, he looked somewhat nervous while singing “I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing” and, frankly, didn’t nail the melody like I thought he would. I still think he’ll take the competiton.

Stephen Thomas Erlewine
David A:
Judge’s Choice: Paula picks “And So It Goes,” a Billy Joel ballad that may be suited stylistically for David A, but it’s a song about middle-aged regret and is therefore emotionally far beyond his years. As always, schmaltz carries him through but he’s not connecting, he’s performing –- although in retrospect, it’s the best thing he does the entire night.

Contestant’s Choice: Somebody, either David or his banned father, had the right idea about trying to make Archuleta seem his 17 years… in theory, at least. In practice, David’s stiff, schticky spin on Chris Brown is an outright embarrassment, demonstrating no feel for either modern R&B or conventional human behavior, confirming all suspicions that if he has to do modern music on his album he’ll go down in flames.

Producer’s Choice: And that of course is why the producers are pushing old-fashioned ballads like Dan Fogelberg’s “Longer” on David, aware that this is his strength and this is where he’ll sell records: to people that usually don’t buy music. It’s a good match, of course, but if you want a reason why ratings and interest are down this season, you have to look no further than this, both in its selection and performance.

Syesha:
Judge’s Choice: Randy picks Alicia Keys, which is a bit of an odd choice for a judge that always complains about contestants picking stylized songs like that. As mimicry is one of Syesha’s strengths, she does fine with it even if she goes flat a few times, but the choice of this tune calls into question Randy’s judgment and taste, as it doesn’t showcase Syesha at her best. Then again, this whole season has raised those questions about Randy time and time again.

Contestant’s Choice: Based on her decision to sing “Fever” complete with a prop, Syesha has her eyes not on the charts but on the Great White Way, as she likes to ACT –- and if you need further proof of that, just check out that Southern accent she debuted last night! Unlike either of the Davids, her choice is not modern, but that’s fine –- she has to know she’s not going to win the title, so might as well do a de facto audition for Broadway, as that’s where she’ll end up. After all, if Diana DeGarmo made it there, so can she.

Producer’s Choice: If you need any further proof that Syesha is not going to win, look no further than the Producer’s Choice of a song from the Happy Feet soundtrack! A song nobody knows and nobody cares to know, a song that Syesha valiantly tries to jazz up, but there’s nothing she can do with it as it was a song that was picked with the intention of getting her off the bloody show, which it will likely do. It’s almost enough to make you feel bad for her, then you start thinking of that new Southern accent again…

David C:
Judge’s Choice: Simon chooses Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” for David C, a selection that at first seems to be a mismatch but proves to be the highlight of the show, as it does let David stretch but also focuses on the best parts of his music-theater grunge delivery. It’s a little weird that the show kept cutting back to his mom during a love song like this, but hey, this version was good enough to suggest that David could indeed cut a not-bad commercial record.

Contestant’s Choice: Of course, David immediately had to kill that buzz by revealing who he really is by picking a Switchfoot song with no melody, and then act all smug about the band when somebody shouts in recognition of their name, acting like they’re underground rock radicals — like they were Suckdog or something. He does fine — this is his kind of music, how could he not? –- but the music itself is unappealing, and if he’s truly gonna do this kind of thing on his inevitable album, he’ll need a pro to graft a melody onto these turgid guitars.

Producer’s Choice: But if the producers have anything to say about it, he’ll do big arena power ballads like “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing,” a song designed to be a hit on both the rock and country charts simultaneously, the kind of mass appeal that the producers want from an AmIdol winner — and if there’s any doubt that this is what the producers want, the song’s author, Diane Warren, is sitting in the audience, smiling on David’s performance. The song lends itself to over-singing, a temptation Cook can’t avoid and he does a respectable job with it, although it’s hardly compelling but surely easy to market.

To me, the real atrocity of last night was that group sing on “Reelin’ in the Years.” I have no problem with Steely Dan on the show, of course — if anything, the great Walter Becker and Donald Fagen would be my dream judges/mentors, rivaling that legendary episode with Quentin Tarantino as guest judge — but this was an outright embarrassment, with each line getting more ridiculous, culminating in David Archuleta botching lyrics once again. The only thing they can do to make up for this is to have a Becker/Fagen night next year, preferably early in the season when the show has enough contestants to be interesting to watch.

Also, it’s a shame that Bo Bice wasn’t allowed to play an instrument in the season he was on Idol — his very good performance last night showed that he was more comfortable with an axe than anybody this season, and more of a rocker too. But his Southern rock has never seemed more out of step with American Idol than it did last night.

Matt Collar
In answer to the phone in question of what was the biggest challenge each Idol had to overcome this season, the soon-to-be ousted Jason, pointing at his dreadlocks, responded with his usual deft hippy aplomb, “The dead brain.” And while no one would disagree with Jason’s own summation of his time on the show, in truth his actual Achilles’ heel was his voice. Dude just can’t sing very well. But at least he was a hundred times more interesting than the final three. Cook, Archie, and Syesha can sing quite well, but man are they dull. Syesha would be a shoo-in for the final two any other season, especially with the Idol tradition of having a girl/guy finale. But with Cook’s earnest rawk dominance and Archie’s Disney-diva-naïf chops, Syesha comes off as merely competent and that doesn’t grab you votes. Plus, I wonder if her votes are gonna get split by little girls who can’t decide whether they want to be Syesha or date Archie? And by date I mean like pass notes with check boxes in them, put stickers on his locker, see a movie at the mall, and stuff.

Matt Collar
Seriously, between Cook’s sparkly blazer he must have stolen off Liza Minnelli at the Café Carlyle in 1978 and Castro’s two cringe-inducing dormroom bong haze performances –- who forgets “jingle jangle morning”?! — AmIdol vacillated between dull, bad, and farty. Archie was his usual boring self and Syesha, while good, still had a few issues. I guess I won’t hold it against her for doing Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary,” as that is the version she attempted to pull off with mixed results. But despite whatever research she did, her “A Change Is Gonna Come” ended up being less about the Civil Rights Movement and more about having a cry over herself getting this far on Idol. Either way, she definitely deserves to make it to the final three over Jason. In that sense, Paula was right — Welcome to your dream Syesha, everybody else sucks.

Stephen Thomas Erlewine
Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Week came complete with a package explaining what rock & roll is all about — because the nation’s tweens and teens need it spelled out for them as they’re too distracted by Rock Band and Guitar Hero. I will refrain from complaining that Jackie Brenston’s name wasn’t mentioned during this segment as it is so rare to have Ike Turner mentioned in a positive light on national TV. Good on them. I will complain a bit about another package suggesting that Alan Freed was the guy that invented rock & roll, but as this is a show created by industry folks, do I really expect any better? After all, they picked Kiss’s theme park rock of “Rock & Roll All Nite” as the song that ran throughout the video. The only good thing about that is that its inclusion proved how raw and real “Rocket 88” still sounds all these years later…but maybe I’m just bitter that nobody attempted “She’s About A Mover,” “Omaha,” “Dixie Chicken,” “Laugh Laugh,” “Personality Crisis,” “September Gurls,” “We Got the Beat,” “See Emily Play” or “Take Me Back to Tulsa,” all songs that do indeed show up on the Hall of Fame’s 500, which for some inane reason was treated like a body of work by the show, as if one person was responsible for it all.

David Cook: The resident rocker should be in his comfort zone tonight — as Randy and others took pains to point out — so how come he seemed so flaccid that Simon LeBon sounded dangerous in comparison? Same reason as always: he takes everything slow n’ serious, singing “Hungry Like The Wolf” with a hint of gravel in his voice then crooning “Baba O’Reilly,” effectively neutering it. So, in a sense, he is a quintessential modern mainstream rocker: everything he touches turns dull.

Syesha: First time out, Syesha does “Proud Mary,” naturally photocopying the Tina Turner version to the letter (any bets on whether she thinks Creedence Clearwater Revival is one of the hundreds of covers of Tina’s original?). Maybe this was a good idea in theory, but in practice, having Syesha mock Tina’s every move only illustrates the gap in soul between the two singers.

But that’s nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to what she did next. I quote: “[Sam Cooke died] during the Civil Rights Movement which was a pivotal time in history and now I’m singing it in a pivotal time in my life.” Well, that’s really all you need to know about this version of “A Change Is Gonna Come,” which has never been turned into an anthem for self-fulfillment but hey, if anybody can do it, it’s Syesha, who quite sincerely believes that there is a parallel between civil rights and reality TV as she repeats it after her performance! Never mind that her phrasing makes it seem that Cooke was killed as part of the civil rights struggle, she sings it as if her march to stardom is the same as the March on Washington. Usually, it’s easy to excuse her narcissism as she can actually sing, but the stench of solipsism is too much to take this time around.

Jason Cook: Oh, this guy just doesn’t want to be here anymore. He clowns his way through “I Shot the Sheriff” then does a Dylan impersonation on “Mr. Tambourine Man,” tripping over some of the tune’s best-known lyrics so badly that it becomes clear that it was an intentional flub. He still has remnants of his charm but, jeez, let’s put the guy out of his misery — he’s gotten as far as he needs to do in order to have a career and he just doesn’t want to do the game anymore. Love the “where was the deputy” ad-lib, though.

David A: The least rock & roll of all remaining four Idol contestants — though really, are any of them rock & roll? — does the best tonight because he sticks to what he knows, good ballads. Not that he’s “da bomb,” as Randy automatically spits out anytime Archuleta opens his mouth, but because he doesn’t try too hard and thereby seems a bit more likable than he has in a few weeks. Which doesn’t mean he’s perfect — he cracks a little, goes flat a bit, still seems too coached — but on a night filled with fumbles, he doesn’t stumble.

So much music on television, so little time. TV Watch points out some of the best and most unusual programs and films combining music and TV for the coming week, and some of the highlights of what has already been on the air. Point your DVR, VCR, or browser to these prime(-time) destinations.

Monday:

Stephen Colbert welcomes Korean pop star Rain to The Colbert Report at 11:30 p.m.

Tavis Smiley talks to K.T. Tunstall on Tavis Smiley at 11:30 p.m.

Alicia Keys and Wayne Newton are together at last in Smokin’ Aces, starting at 11:55 p.m. on HBO Zone.

Jimmy Kimmel bridges the gap between Monday night and Tuesday morning with special guests Motley Crüe at 12:05 a.m.

Tuesday:

Elvis Presley stars in Love Me Tender at 6:00 a.m. on AMC.

Good Morning America wakes things up with Josh Groban at 7:00 a.m. on ABC.

Rock and rollers salute one of their own in Too Tough to Die: A Tribute to Johnny Ramone at 8:00 a.m. on Starz Cinema.

HBO gives Dreamgirls fans a look behind the scenes on The Making Of:
Dreamgirls at 8:30 a.m. Fans can tune in at 12:30 to watch the feature film.

He’s a little bit…Mad? Donny Osmond stops by for some sketch comedy on MAD TV at 4:00 p.m. on Comedy Central.

Steve Winwood visits David Letterman on The Late Show With David Letterman at 11:35 p.m.

Wednesday:

Groban’s out, and Clay Aiken is in on Good Morning America, starting at 7:00 a.m. on ABC.

Fuse shows some love for Taking Back Sunday and My Chemical Romance on Steven’s Untitled Rock Show at 4:00 p.m.

Meanwhile, VH1 Classic gives you all the Jacksons trivia you can handle on Classic Pop-Up Video: The Jacksons, also at 4:00 p.m.

Country legends enjoy some grand old Opry on Opry Live, starting at 7:00 p.m. on Great American Country.

PBS highlights the career of Marvin Gaye in American Masters: “Marvin Gaye: What’s Going On” at 9:00 p.m.

Lordz find themselves deep in the heart of Texas on Fuse’s The Brooklyn Way starting at 10:30 p.m.

P.O.D. swings by The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at 11:35 p.m. on NBC, Lil Mama says hello on Jimmy Kimmel Live at 12:05 a.m. on ABC, and Late Night with Conan O’Brien brings the night to a close with Duke Spirit at 12:35 a.m.

Thursday:

Neil Young: Heart of Gold starts off the day on Showtime Next at 6:45 a.m.

Over on the Sundance Channel, Leonard Cohen gets the spotlight on Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Man at 10:00 a.m.

Janet Jackson stars in Poetic Justice on StarzInBlack! at 12:45 p.m.

Get your daily dose of Alicia Keys on Loaded, starting at 1:30 p.m. on Fuse. Tune into the network again at 4:00 p.m. when Ministry is profiled on Steven’s Untitled Rock Show.

Oprah Winfrey talks with Cher and Tina Turner on The Oprah Winfrey Show at 4:00 p.m. (Check local listings for channels.)

VH1 Classic is in a downright Who-labaloo — at 8:00 p.m., the network shows Amazing Journey: The Story of The Who and airs Tommy at 10:30 p.m.

David Letterman welcomes Panic at the Disco on The Late Show With David Letterman at 11:35 p.m. on CBS.

Over on NBC, Jay Leno says hello to Trace Adkins on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, also at 11:35 p.m.

Friday:

Learn how The Beatles came to Las Vegas in Imagine… The Beatles in “LOVE” at 6:30 a.m. on Sundance.

NBC’s Today show says TGIF with Mary J. Blige at 7:00 a.m.

Mariah Carey joins ABC’s own gossip girls on The View at 11:00 a.m.

Snoop Dogg on the ABC soap One Life to Live? See it (but still not believe it) at 2:00 p.m.

CMT brings together Maroon 5 and Sara Evans on CMT Crossroads at 9:00 p.m.

Carly Simon stops by The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at 11:35 p.m.

Ludo says hello on Jimmy Kimmel Live at 12:05 a.m.

Saturday:

Today, Weekend Edition follows up Mary J. Blige with KC & the Sunshine Band at 7:00 a.m. on NBC.

Joe Strummer hops on Mystery Train at 10:00 a.m. on IFC.

Pop diva Whitney Houston stars as pop diva Rachel Marron in The Bodyguard at 12:15 p.m. on TBS.

Fuse looks back at Britney’s breakout “Baby One More Time” on Videos That Rocked the World at 2:00 p.m.

One final note: the producers are going to have to do a lot better job addressing the Paula snafu than brushing away the “rumors” surrounding her premature judging of Jason Castro’s second song. It’s a classic case of “Who are you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?,” but that shtick is hard to pull off when there are millions of witnesses to the screw-up.

Andrew Leahey
Was anyone else hoping for a fuller explanation of Paula’s loopy criticism? She gave conflicting reports yesterday, first appearing on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show to claim that she’d mistakenly looked at her notes from the dress rehearsal (which begs the question: should the dress rehearsals really influence what the judges say?) and then telling Entertainment Weekly that she mistook her notes on David Cook’s performance for something pertaining to Jason Castro (which begs the question: why did she criticize Castro’s imaginary second song, only to subsequently praise Cook?). As is often the case with Miss Abdul, none of it made sense. But when last night’s show rolled around, Seacrest only briefly mentioned the mishap by claiming the “rumors” were wrong and asserting that everybody still loves Paula. Well, that’s great. Let’s all hug each other, legally download Paula’s latest single from iTunes, and forget that we’ve spent three months watching this show, voting for contestants, and striving to find some justification for the amount of energy we’ve spent on a potentially fabricated competition.

As for the elimination itself, Brooke’s teary exit was moving but necessary, since she really has no place in this competition after Carly’s dismissal. The same goes Syesha, who will outlast Jason Castro next week if Fox deems it important to have a co-ed Top Three. Otherwise, she’s the next to go, and American Idol will be one big dude-fest until the finale on May 21st.

Matt Collar
So, Brooke is gone and Jason lives on. I won’t be surprised if Jason makes the final three either as his popularity, unlike his voice, seems boundless. I was somewhat icked out by Natasha Bedingfield’s apparent muppet crush on David Archuleta. The moment made for great TV but reinforced my fear that the mainstream pop world is primed to embrace lil’ Archie like some kind of pop idol Pikachu they will coddle and feed until his vestigial tail drops off and he finally grows some musical genitalia.

Oh well, I still say David Cook wins despite the toddler hair and the unfortunate v-neck t-shirt.

Andrew Leahey
Alright. Episodes like this leave us with three possible conclusions:

1. Paula Abdul is clairvoyant.
2. Paula Abdul is stoned.
3. The conspiracy theorists were right, and this show is totally, utterly scripted.

At its best, American Idol is a harmlessly fun show that encourages healthy music criticism. It allows the TV-viewing public to take part in the machinations that turn everyday vocalists into superstars. Few media outlets challenge so many people to think about the music they consume — to choose between folksy crooners and flat-ironed emo rockers, male teenyboppers and female divas, Irish bar singers and Australian bluesmen. Whether or not that power is actually in our hands, we still have the illusion of choice — the fantasy that we’re in charge of our own musical landscape — and such authority (even if it’s all a pipe dream) helps us engage our inner Simon Cowell as we pinpoint the musical tics we hate, the tics we love, the singers who inspire us to vote, and so on. American Idol may only be a Star Search-styled program transplanted to the major leagues, but if done correctly, it has the potential to be something more.

Last night, however, Idol was a mess. Half the contestants were downright bad, and the ones who sang well only played into the stereotypes that were carved out for them weeks ago. Is this really the best crop of young American talent? Are we supposed to be proud that our votes have furnished an underwhelming Top Five with two stars, one Broadway candidate, and a pair of hit-or-miss guitar strummers? We learned nothing new, and Paula’s hilarious flub provided little relief from the tide of terrible television. Who’s going home tonight? Who knows. It’s out of our hands, really — but it’s apparently in Paula’s script.

Stephen Thomas Erlewine
Before we go any further, just a moment to say… what the blazing hell was last night’s show? Not counting “Idol Gives Back” — which should never be considered as part of the rubric of regular Idol, even though they kicked somebody off this year — this is the worst episode this season, probably the worst in several seasons, as they tried to cram two songs a piece from the Top Five into an hour, holding off commentary from the judges until the final performance. Well, that was the plan anyway, but for some reason the producers decided to turn to the judges halfway through the show, leading to stunning sight of Paula Abdul wandering far off script and giving a critique of Jason Castro’s second song before he sang it. If you’re charitable, she’s confused, relying on notes that she made during dress rehearsals. If you’re a conspiracist, you’ll take this as proof that the show is rigged, relying on notes given to her by producers. Either way, we’re all winners as it was a marvelous bit of a live television in a show that needed an unexpected moment, as the contestants are dispiritingly predictable. All the contestants are united in one other front: they have a hard time picking the right song.

Jason: By far the worst offender in terms of song selection was Jason Castro. Of all mainstream pop composers, only Neil Diamond has a wealth of songs suited to Castro’s sunny strum-along style (and, to get the cheap joke out of the way quickly, that’s not even including “The Pot Smoker’s Song”!), so what does Castro do? Not one but two songs from Neil’s late ‘70s/early ‘80s peak as schmaltzy adult contemporary balladeer, trying to smile his way through “Forever In Blue Jeans” and then crooning “September Morn” badly. “Forever In Blue Jeans” had a semblance of the sunniness that has kept Jason charming but there’s no two ways around it: these songs choices add up to a colossal blunder for Castro, suggesting that he neither can pick songs nor has a true understanding of his own style.

David C: You certainly can’t say that David Cook doesn’t understand who he is or that he can’t pick songs. He has the fortitude to sift through the entire Neil Diamond catalog and pick two dull, crawling songs nobody knows and then contort them into his signature overblown yet anonymous post-grunge. As he grew up in an age where obscurity equaled credibility, he always favors the unknown to the familiar, which lends his choices a stupid arrogance; he picks the right songs but the songs are bad, yet he’s convinced they’re good because only he knows them. He winds up picking songs that showcase him, not the song, and when they’re judged just as songs, they’re tunes nobody wants to hear and they show that the guy has no taste at all.

Brooke: In contrast to David C, Brooke picks songs everybody knows. One of them everybody knows too well — the rightly deathless “I’m a Believer” which she turns too sugary, a feat that previously seemed impossible. It was Brooke at her absolute worst — all butterflies, sunshine and popsicles — but she redeemed herself by a soft, comparatively sparse “I Am I Said” that showcased her warm crooning at her best, as even her cracking voice lent it some emotional heft. It was as good as she should have been and it makes you wonder why on earth she picked “I’m a Believer” for her first song, as “You Got To Me” would have filled that same uptempo bill better.

David A: Jason and Brooke had worse performances, but hands down the most unbearable contestant of the night was — surprise surprise — David Archuleta, who breathlessly seized the opportunity to be a schmaltzy cheeseball. He was merely awful on “Sweet Caroline,” shoehorning runs where the song won’t allow it, and utterly horrific on “America,” singing with a po-faced sincerity that shows he can’t even be a good lounge singer because he doesn’t know how bloody ridiculous the tune is (quite the opposite of Neil’s original). At this point, I almost want him to take the thing just to see how bad his album will be.

Syesha: Ever willing to show off, Syesha picks a tune for her voice and a tune to tear it up, singing both expertly and quite boringly. She’s better on the ballad, as it really gives her a chance to run, but the decision to try make the faux-gospel of “Thank the Lord for the Nighttime” real (when it would have been better off in the hands of Jason, who would have had the audience clap along) shows she’s destined for the literalism of the theatah, not the pop charts.

Monday:

Morrissey performs on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson at 12:35 a.m. on CBS.

Rock musicians rally for a cause on Music Rising, a documentary about Hurricane Katrina’s effect on Gulf Coast musicians, at 6:15 a.m. on the Sundance Channel.

Fuse brings you an hour of Sonic Youth at 4:00 p.m. on Steven’s Untitled Rock Show.

Miss the 2008 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony? Don’t fret — VH1 Classic has you covered at 4:30 p.m.

Duffy performs on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at 11:35 p.m. on NBC.

The Roots on Late Show with David Letterman at 11:30 p.m. on CBS.

Santogold on Late Night with Conan O’Brien at 12:35 a.m. on NBC.

Josh Kelley performs on Last Call with Carson Daly at 1:35 a.m. on NBC.

Feist on The Colbert Report at 11:30 p.m. on Comedy Central.

Tuesday:

Morrissey performs again on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson at 12:35 a.m. on CBS.

VH1 Classic rocks the casbah with Rock Fest: The Clash at 2:00 p.m.

The Kills on Late Night with Conan O’Brien at 12:35 a.m. on NBC.

System of a Down’s Serj Tankian performs on Last Call with Carson Daly at 1:35 a.m. on NBC.

George Stanford on Last Call with Carson Daly at 1:35 a.m. on NBC.

Natasha Bedingfield on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at 11:35 p.m. on NBC.

Wednesday:

Couldn’t make it to The Bravery’s set at the Eurockeennes of Belfort Festival? Catch them on Showtime Next instead at 5:40 p.m.

Augustana on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at 11:35 p.m. on NBC.

Def Leppard performs on Jimmy Kimmel Live at 12:35 a.m. on ABC.

Feist performs on Late Night with Conan O’Brien at 12:35 a.m. on NBC.

Grand Archives on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson at 12:35 a.m. on CBS.

Thursday:

She & Him perform on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson at 12:35 a.m. on CBS.

The newly reunited Stone Temple Pilots on Jimmy Kimmel Live at 12:35 a.m. on ABC.

The last live performance of the Clark Sisters is documented on the Gospel Music Channel’s Front Row Live at 9:00 p.m.

Does It Offend You, Yeah? on Last Call with Carson Daly at 1:35 a.m. on NBC.

Swedish pop star Robyn performs on Late Show with David Letterman at 11:30 p.m. on CBS.

Avril Lavigne on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at 11:35 p.m. on NBC.

Friday:

Hot off his appearance as a guest mentor on American Idol (8 p.m. Tuesday/9 p.m. Wednesday on FOX), Neil Diamond performs on The Today Show at 7 a.m. on NBC.

Heather Phares
Brooke’s false start added excitement to Tuesday night’s show, but Carly’s elimination on Wednesday elicited outright shock. But was it really so surprising that she and Syesha, another of the most technically gifted singers left on the show, were sitting in the Bottom Two stools? Both had some pretty revealing confessions in their interviews with Ryan during the show: Syesha said that while she was singing, she was “being somebody else … a fun person.” Carly put an even finer point on it, saying “I haven’t been having fun” because she’d chosen songs to show off her singing ability throughout the competition. Carly and Syesha are both blessed with big voices, but each week they both seemed obligated to display just how big their voices were at the expense of showing much personality — while less gifted but more relatable contestants like Brooke and Jason became audience favorites. While it might seem unfair that Brooke and Jason escaped the Bottom Two this week — though Brooke at least had the decency to be shocked that she was safe — as Randy rather obviously explained, “it must be a popularity thing in the vote.” Simon nailed it when he said that Brooke’s flub made her human to the audience, and that Jason’s awkwardness was charming (and, based on the screams he got from the crowd, that awkward charm isn’t going anywhere anytime soon). Even though Carly and Syesha finally displayed some fun and personality this week, it was too little, too late for Carly, and the fact that she seemed relieved to be going home was just as telling as her revelation that she wasn’t enjoying herself. She (understandably) never seemed to get over her major-label failure at 15, and her desperation to “make it” in showbiz now while protecting herself from further hurt and rejection made her all too human — but unfortunately, that humanity never showed up enough in her singing for people to really embrace her on the show. Maybe post-Idol she’ll finally have the chance to have a singing career on something like her own terms.

Andrew Leahey
Bizarre. This show is totally, totally bizarre.

Many years from now, last night’s television waves will reach the radio towers of some distant star, whose super-intelligent inhabitants will decode and re-broadcast them via an extraterrestrial TV set. And what will those aliens see? Which images will they come to associate with that tiny green-and-blue planet on the other side of the galaxy? Andrew Lloyd Webber fidgeting like a quirky, excited schoolchild… Clay Aiken wearing a knight’s costume, a honey-dyed bob, and more makeup than Tammy Faye… A Ford commercial that leaves viewers with the desire to watch Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome… And finally, an incomprehensible decision to boot Carly Smithson, the show’s strongest female contestant and a humble sweetie to boot. Wow. Go America.

It’s hard to imagine Brooke and Syesha enjoying the same transatlantic success as Leona Lewis, whose presence last night was a helpful reminder that reality TV can occasionally turn out a true star. Her vocal performance of “Bleeding Love” often bordered on yodeling, but Cowell’s X Factor protégé still treated AmIdol viewers to the sort of steady, assured performance that Brooke so rarely musters (and Syesha so rarely pulls off). Simon’s shoutout to Clive Davis was also notable, given that the cranky Brit is rapidly taking Clive’s place in the industry by turning young, photogenic R&B singers into chart-topping divas. Leona Lewis may not have the raw talent of Alicia Keys, whom Clive rescued from record label purgatory in the early 2000s, but she does have two worldwide number one singles in her (very) brief discography. There’s no way Simon Cowell will have similar success mentoring the remaining Idol females, which makes Carly’s exit all the more puzzling.

Syesha was a surprising exception. After weeks of copying mega R&B divas like Mariah and Whitney, she finally showed her true colors as an aspiring Broadway baby. It was a little worrisome when she said, “Finally, something where I can show some personality” — although that explains a lot about her previous bland performances — but her “One Rock ‘n’ Roll Too Many” was sassy and fun, and one of the night’s most engaging moments. Given how many Idol alum end up on Broadway, Syesha will be right at home when she winds up there. Carly also paid attention to Webber’s lessons, and her “Superstar” was much more entertaining than the snoozy ballads she usually chooses for herself. Even though she was way more energetic than usual, her lack of charisma continues to make her one of the most frustrating Idols ever.

Charisma has never been a problem for David Cook, though, and his choice of what Webber called his “most sensual song,” Phantom of the Opera’s “The Music of the Night,” was a savvy one, although the ultra-traditional arrangement was a bit stiff and strange, especially for the show’s brave, original, creative rocker — what would’ve been more brave or original than breaking out the Les Paul on musical theater night? At any rate, it was a strong performance, even if Cook managed to be the schmaltziest David of the night. And that’s saying something, given that schmaltz and rangy melodies are David Archuleta’s bread and butter. However, on a night that should have been effortless for him, Archuleta had problems: He tried to make “Think of Me” more modern with a contemporary arrangement and some Stevie Wonder-inspired vocal runs, but his performance was tentative and the flubbed words didn’t help.

Of course, his flub was almost unnoticeable compared to THE flub of the night. Brooke’s false start doomed her performance of “You Must Love Me” — despite what Paula said, she couldn’t just continue, but starting over made her too nervous and hesitant (though it may have added the emotion Webber thought was missing from her rehearsals). Unless Brooke gets some heavy-duty sympathy votes, it wouldn’t be surprising if that false start spells the end for her. Idol’s other flower child also wilted under the glare of the footlights. Jason Castro tried to work the same magic with “Memory” that he did with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” on Inspirational Songs week, going for a smaller, unpretentious performance in contrast to all the flashiness surrounding him, but this time he just seemed horribly out of place and uncomfortable — like Brooke, perhaps to the point of elimination.

Andrew Leahey
At least half of the contestants were “off” this week — off pitch, off-kilter, perhaps even off-putting — but their mistakes paled in comparison to the blunders made at the judging table. Simon, Randy, and Paula have all chosen their favorites by now, and their criticism is structured accordingly, often glossing over the mistakes of their #1 draft picks to encourage their longstanding presence on the show. It’s happened before, of course — that’s simply how the game is played, and everyone’s a player here, not only the contestants — but it seems doubly unfair now, when powerhouses like Michael Johns are forced to watch the show at home while other contestants bumble their way through Webber’s compositions. If a contestant messes up, the judges need to note it, even if the offender is someone who’s been pre-destined (not by America, but by the almighty Nigel Lythgoe) to make the Final Two.

Of course, this brings us to David Archuleta, who is the polar opposite of his main competitor (at least as far as the American Idol rubric goes). David Cook is tall, old, angsty, bearded; Archuleta is small, young, jovial, baby-faced. Having the two contestants square off in a David-vs-David finale is the network’s obvious goal, and the judges glossed over Archie’s fumbled lyrics last night without so much as a shrug. “Think Of Me” started off nicely, but it quickly diverged into an odd mix of key changes, vocal runs, gauzy strings, and boy band crooning. This is the sort of music that plays in Lou Pearlman’s elevator, but Randy seemed to think it was great, and Paula went so far as to deem Achie’s flawed performance “perfect.” Only Simon had enough sense to point out some of the singer’s weaknesses, but he nevertheless gave David enough praise (”it’s absolutely gonna get you through to next week”) to keep him from taking a much-deserved dunk in the Bottom Three.

David Cook, on the other hand, used to incur Simon’s wrath week after week. It’s easy to take his frontrunner status for granted now, but let’s not forget that Cook’s standing is the result of an uphill climb. He didn’t receive the extended video packages that established Archuleta, Carly, and Brooke as AmIdol stars before the auditions were even over, and had he forgotten his lyrics on two occasions (ahem, Brooke and David Archuleta), he’d most certainly be penalized for it. So I have no problem with Randy and Paula loving his understated performance of “Music of the Night,” although I do take issue with Simon’s wish that it was “gritty and more raw.” That would’ve been predictable. That would’ve been easy. Cook scaled things back and let his alt.rock colors fly at key moments, which made him one of the better performers of the evening.

Syesha was perhaps the best singer last night. It’s not hard for a diva to shine on Broadway tunes, but Syesha nevertheless left her peers in the dust with her sexy swagger and confident pipes (although, just to be fair, she did come in early). While Starlight Express may be one of Webber’s weakest shows, it still gave Syesha her strongest performance in weeks. Go figure. As for the others — Carly, Jason, and Brooke — the latter two will almost certainly be in the Bottom Three, while Carly deserves to stay another week and regain more of her lost momentum. She botched the lyrics during the first chorus of “Superstar,” but Carly’s energy and throaty high notes were still great — a fine return for someone who’s been toiling in the trenches for weeks.

Stephen Thomas Erlewine
Syesha: So, Syesha reveals herself as a creature of musical theatre — something we should have realized many years ago when she flaunted that icky baby voice as if she was auditioning for a cartoon. She’s at home here, sashaying across the stage, draping an arm across Ricky Minor’s shoulder (with considerably less sexual energy than Bowie and Mick Ronson, but what are you gonna do?), wringing every bit of theatricality out of this tune. And she sounds great, easily the best singer and performer of the night. Not a pop star, really, but if Diana DeGarmo can light up the Great White Way, Syesha sure as hell should after this is all over.

Jason: “I’m not sure I would have done it.” So said Andrew Lloyd Webber — who, for the record, was utterly terrific on TV, very funny and, better still, he doled out excellent advice to all the contestants — of Jason Castro’s choice of “Memory.” Well, Webber knows what the hell he’s talking about, as Jason tries to channel his hippie charm into an orchestra and goes off the rails almost immediately. As soon as the song shifts after the first verse, he can’t keep up with the progression of the song, singing behind the beat and never getting back on it. It’s awful, a patchouli and grease-paint scented mess that should kick him off the show. Even so, the utter horror of this is excusable because when is he ever, ever going to sing a song like this? Simon is right that it’s like he was forced by his mum and dad to sing the song, but that totally ignores Simon’s culpability here as he’s one of the mums and dads here, forcing the guy to sing something that’s not suited to him! Perhaps the problem is in the conception of this entire show — the idea that our American Idol needs to be able to sing ALW showtunes, something that has nothing to do with the kind of pop singer that has hit the charts in the past decade — because Jason, who is surely one of the more modern singers here, has no business singing Webber. And for that matter neither does Brooke White.

Brooke: For the second time, Brooke trips at the gate and decides to push the reset button — and it’s kinda more noticeable when you’re singing with a whole orchestra than when you’re all alone at a piano. Sure, this could be called unprofessional, but there are plenty of times when artists pull a do-over and start all over again, and this can actually be an endearing thing (spoken like the diehard Pavement fan that I am, the one that’s still cherishing the memory of them attempting to get “Kris Kraft” off the ground after three false starts). To me, starting-stopping adds a big element of humanity to a performance which may actually have helped give her a bit of emotion and seemed to connect her to the song a little bit more than she did in the rehearsal. Not quite enough to get this off the ground, though. This was a rough performance, but her tone is still soothing and warm, perfect for settings much more intimate than this, as she’s never ever going to sing a showtune with a band so big they spill over the stage as she did last night.

David A: Enough with this nonsense — not just bringing girls on stage to hug little David, but the very idea that this kid is in for some kind of real stardom after this is all over. Yes, he’ll sell records but he’s not a tween heartthrob. Compared to him, Zac Efron looks dangerous, the Jonas Brothers are mavericks, even the Naked Brothers Band seem like renegades. As “safe” pre-teen crushes go, David A is too safe, giving every indication that he’d rather spend the evening chatting with your parents then going out to the malt shop or whatever kids do these days. In that sense, he’s the second coming of Clay Aiken, a singer who appealed to the same exact demographic as David, but Clay is truly, deeply strange in his mannerisms and his taste. Clay is a downright diva, which means he can be flat-out weird, as when he did that awful “Grease” decked out in red pleather. David A is boring, right down to repeating his same little “aw shucks” shuffle after singing, always with a song that only feels at home in Star Searches and Vegas theaters, even demonstrating a tendency to forget lyrics, which he did last night. That wasn’t enough to sink his performance — like the pro he is, he soldiered through, not drawing attention to his mistake, something that Brooke should probably learn if she truly wants to sing on this scale — and perhaps he did try to make the song sound more modern (which meant more 1998 than 2008, but the attempt is appreciated all the same), but he was undone by his irrepressible blandness. Sure, his good looks and good voice may be enough for him to win this thing, but if he’s “exactly what this show is about” as Randy says, no wonder the ratings are down in key demographics as according to the LA Times.

Carly: Carly tones down her desperation (at least until that stupid baby blue T-shirt came out) and ALW pushes her in the right direction (which means it was NOT “so unexpected,” Paula) by telling her to do the theme song from Jesus Christ Superstar. If we had time she’d like to blow our minds, belting out Webber’s rock & show as if there was no tomorrow. She’s not all that good but she’s not all that bad, a pro singer in her comfort zone — and since so many of her peers were decidedly out of their comfort zone, she beats almost all of them by default, even if it doesn’t trump Syesha’s assured sashaying.

David C: Revealed! Another missing piece of the puzzle that is David Cook! Not only is he a rocker who loves Our Lady Peace, he’s a rocker who’s a musical theater guy! No wonder he sounded more comfortable last night, as he sanded away the affected grit in his voice (apart from the grungy glory note at the inclusion) and revved up the hambone shtick on a rendition of “Music of the Night” that would be absolutely stunning in any collegiate production of The Phantom of the Opera. As David C is just a shade more sensual than David A, this isn’t quite a seductive version of the “most sexy song” ALW ever wrote, but it is perhaps the most natural performance Cook has given all year — which may bode well for his status on the show but not so much for that inevitable AAA post-grunge album we’ll see this holiday season.