If you were expecting some kind of SXSW report from the HDJ crew, forget it. We decided to stick close to home and forgo the crush of people, the BBQ sauce, the showcases and the hype. Sure, it would have been nice to see The Pains of Being Pure at Heart at one of their 13 shows or watch Metallica pretend to be an indie rock band, but we had better things (laundry, washing our hair, watching basketball) to do. Besides every week here is like a report from the front lines of the music world. Just because we never venture out from behind the safety of our cubicle walls doesn’t mean we don’t have a complete stranglehold on the hottest, damnedest artists around. Take a look at this week’s picks and see if we’re lying.

AM Architect
Chilled out mood music with Fender Rhodes and g-g-glitchy Boards of Canada-type beats, by way of San Antonio, TX.

Amesoeurs
Neige’s prior black metal group Mortifera was gloomy, but his team-up with Audrey Sylvain is so bleak and lonely sounding that it could potentially raise France’s suicide rate.

Birthday Suits
Raw dog rock — unnerving and blaringly loud, the way we like it.

Computer Perfection
Pas/Cal without Caz is still pretty darn good - dreamy, breezy pop with just enough twists and weirdness to remind of you of their day job.

First Aid Kit
Two Swedish sisters wrap their voices around acoustic guitar and sparse percussion, culminating in a slightly strident (but still engaging) cover of Fleet Foxes’ “Tiger Mountain Peasant Song.”

Beth Jeans Houghton
Her voice sounds heavenly no matter what surrounds her, whether it’s sunny British folk ramble “Golden” or the more ethereal, electronic “Nightswimmer.” Fans of Joanna Newsom and the Cocteau Twins, take note!

Le Man Avec Les Lunettes
Italian bands are not going to sit by idly while Spain attempts to become the center of the pop universe, Le Man Avec Les Lunettes make a strong claim for attention with their light and frothy pop sound that calls to mind heavyweights like the High Llamas, Teenage Fanclub and Los Campesinos!.

Magic Kids
Sounding like a pint-sized Polyphonic Spree or a grade-school Beach Boys, this group from Memphis has a song (”Hey Girl”) that will warm the heart of pop lovers of all sizes and ages.

The Orange Opera
Propelled by the hairy charisma of frontman Kevin Hambrick, these Indiana natives channel their inner Californian with lo-fi, vintage power-pop songs about football games and ice cream parlors.

RTFO Bandwagon
Half warm ‘n’ fuzzy Americana, half weird singalong garage-rock, this Columbus, Ohio band spans the cough-syrup jamboree “Like a Dan Shearer Over Troubled Water” to “Skipper Bunkum”’s cryptic rants.

Silent Land Time Machine
One of the more evocative band names in awhile, and with music to match — this one-man act’s rustic loops and collages are a bit like a backwater Panda Bear or Godspeed You Black Emperor, with all the hypnotic, emotive power that suggests.