The Best
Heather Phares: There wasn’t one clear standout contestant on Wednesday night. Boy-band member turned rocker Robbie Carrico was probably the most promising guy sent on to Hollywood, but there were quite a few ladies with potential (or the potential to flame out in Hollywood). The flirty duo of Corliss and Brittany was a pleasant surprise; not only were they charming, they had similarly appealing jazz-pop singing styles. Natasha Blach was another retro-minded singer who turned in a very pretty version of Etta James’ “At Last.” And though her “Think” was a little bit over the top (like so many “singer/actresses” can be), cute-as-a-button Syesha Mercado was the night’s most charismatic talent. However, the best thing about Wednesday night’s show was probably the diversity of the contestants that appeared in Miami. Latin, Asian (including Filipina Ramiele Malubay, who wants to be the “first Asian-American Idol”), black, white and everything else, the episode was a melting pot of good and bad singers of every persuasion.

Matt Collar: Man, I dunno that there was a best contestant in Miami. Even the good singers like Syesha were kinda off or something. I mean, she was way cute and inspirational with her rehab dad, but was it me or was she way shouty on “Think”?

Andy Kellman: One vote for single mom Suzanne Todd — the Alicia Silverstone/Angelina Jolie/Teena Marie one — despite picking “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” provided she watches the “…little stuff goin’ on, different melodies,” just like Randy said.

Andrew Leahey: I didn’t really enjoy the contestants as much as I enjoyed the judges shooting them down — particularly the showy singers who chose to do Janis Joplin tunes. Really, who told them that emulating her would be a good idea? Simon would’ve given the boot to a reincarnated Joplin herself. Too “over the top.”

The Worst
AL: Julie didn’t necessarily have the worst voice, but she obviously thought that her time with “American Idol School Playhouse” (or whatever it’s called) would’ve greased the wheels for her trip to Hollywood. Oddly enough, I thought the clips of her singing as a 12 year-old were much better than last night’s audition. Perhaps it’s that Joplin influence again. Anyway, Julie now has a word to teach those kids back at the Playhouse: “precocious.” Maybe they’ll learn “modesty” in next week’s lesson.

AK: Dustin Pedroia surely went 0-for-4 during the Red Sox game Julie opted to skip for her audition.

HP: Possibly poor Richard Valles, whose ultra-nasal Rascal Flatts song drew a kind of mean impersonation of his singing from Randy.

MC: Despite my inclination toward girls in sparkly berets, I’d have to say that meat market girl and uber-belcher Shannon McGough was pretty lousy. And, not to knock the Jop, but anyone who wants to learn how to sing, should NEVER EVER listen to Janis Joplin. It just gets lost in the translation.

The Weirdest
HP: Maybe Ghaleb Emachah — not because his performance was particularly strange (though it was certainly passionate, as promised), but because it triggered some fantastically strange behavior from Paula. She criticized Ghaleb on his “strong accent,” which Simon thought was “rude,” and made Paula walk around the room with her fingers in her ears singing “la la la la la.” She also complained to Ghaleb, “Now you see what I have to put up with?” because, of course, this was all about her. Ghaleb almost deserved to go to Hollywood just for having to put up with Paula’s freakout.

AK: “Live in Akron for a year and come back next season sounding less ‘ethnic,’ Ghaleb. Your new name is ‘Caleb M.’”

MC: Richard was definitely one of the more awkward and bizarre vocalists so far. Mostly, because despite all evidence to the contrary, he was wasn’t joking!

AK: Morris Day and Chris Tucker seemed to be fighting to jump out of the body of last night’s final contestant — can’t recall his name. Maybe not the weirdest moment, but at least it added a comical aspect to the show that was not creepy in some way.

Definitive Simon/Randy/Paula Moments
AK: All three bagging on Shannon for the lack of melody in her version of Janis’ “Cry Baby” — like the original is as catchy and snappy as “Surfin’ U.S.A.”

AL: The contestants should really know this by now, but if Randy chuckles quietly throughout your entire audition, you’re probably not going to get a golden ticket.

All of the judges got some lovin’ this episode, which is a rare feat. Randy and Simon were double-teamed by the Corliss/Brittany combo, and Paula was wooed by the passionate Ghaleb (who kinda wooed everybody within a 20 foot radius — or at least attempted to kiss them).

Also, did anyone notice the judges’ teeth? They’re so white! Almost blindingly so.

MC: “You’re out on the town in Miami, a few margaritas, you start singing, I’m drunk, I’d quite like you.” — Simon to self-described gypsy musician Ghaleb

“Bit rude.” — Simon to Paula

Theme of the Night
AL: Bribes work in Omaha, and hugs ‘n’ kisses will get you everywhere in Miami. Also, tropical weather makes everybody lustful … or maybe that was just Paula’s leopard-print dress.

HP: Wednesday night was Attack of the Delusional Janis Joplin wannabes. As annoying as the Mariah wannabes can be, most of them don’t have anything on butcher’s daughter Shannon McGough, who seemed promising since she had won awards for her singing since grade school and was actually kind of charming when she said “I would definitely not be devastated by not working with bloody meat anymore.” Unfortunately, her shrieky version of Joplin’s “Cry Baby” was bad, and her disbelief that anyone could not love her singing was worse. However, McGough was just a warm-up for Julie DiBella. A former American Junior, DiBella’s sloppy “Me and Bobby McGee” just wasn’t good enough, despite her history with the AmIdol franchise and her claim that she doesn’t “believe in mediocrity.” Her bad attitude got worse after she was rejected, and we left her saying, “Don’t audition for American Idol, and don’t watch the show.” Too late!

AK: That shot of Mama Cass at the Monterey Pop Festival, reacting to Janis’ performance with that mind-blown “Wowww” expression, should’ve been shown during and after each Janis cover.